Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Uhhhh yup...

A rancher was herding his flock of sheep in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud toward him. The driver, a young man in a Brooks Bros. suit, Gucci shoes, YSL tie and Ray Ban sunglasses leans out of the window and asks the rancher, "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The rancher looks at the man who is obviously an Ivy League grad, then looks at his grazing flock and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Sony notebook computer, connects to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location. He feeds that data to another NASA satellite which scans the area in an ultra-high resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility located in Hamburg, Germany.

Within seconds, he receives an e-mail on his "Palm Pilot" that the image has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulas. He uploads all of this data via an e-mail on his "Blackberry" and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP Laser jet printer and turns to the rancher and states, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep," says the rancher.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on, amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the rancher says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and replies, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a politician," says the rancher.

"Wow! That's correct," answers the yuppie. "But how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required. You showed up here even though nobody called you... you want to get paid for an answer I already knew to a question I never asked... and... you don't know shit about my business.

"Now Give Me Back My Dog!"

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